Red Flags

Ignoring the red flags now, because you wanna see the good in people, will cost you later.

Seeing clearly, is the greatest gift you can give to yourself and others. We are all growing in maturity. We all have blind spots. We need others to lovingly respond to us, even when this means they draw boundaries for us.

Growing in self-awareness means seeing the red flags in yourself. Asking: why do I over-react when “this” subject is brought up? Why am I driven to do certain things, over and over again? Why can’t I let this “thing” go? Recognizing these little reg flags allows us to investigate, find the source and then heal. It’s the starting point to living the life you desire.

Seeing the red flags in others is helpful to you and them. Why? We are all growing in maturity in different areas of our lives. You can be age 30 and act like your 16 when it comes to romantic relationships. You can be spiritually mature, but be immature socially, financially etc. If you pretend someone is more mature than what they are, it will cost you. You won’t be able to draw proper boundaries. Without proper boundaries, you will either be hurt by them (driving you apart) or end up enabling them/perpetuating their immaturity.

With proper boundaries, you can potentially maintain a level of relationship with someone while they are maturing, while not perpetuating their immaturities. When people show you who they are believe them; and then adjust your boundaries. (There’s so much more that could be said here, but if this was helpful let me know (comment below). I’ll write more on the subject.)

2 thoughts on “Red Flags

  1. I love this! Boundaries is an area I’ve been meaning to work on for years and this is the third time it’s come up for me in the last month. Being so open to others has allowed several people to hurt me in ways I never should have allowed. I need to learn to set better boundaries for myself and others. Brene Brown says it’s the only way we can truly be generous, we will not have bitterness towards others if we have proper boundaries set. This was very insightful Dr. Joel! Thank you!!

    Liked by 1 person

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